From Hi to Aloha

Maui. The hot sun, tropical flowers and surfing- lots of surfing. There would be clear turquoise waters that carefully build up the most tranquil chaos as it approached the shore causing the best waves. I envisioned myself sitting under an umbrella chair in a hot pink bikini, sipping on a perfectly made Mai Tai that has been beautifully decorated with a pineapple wedge before indulging in some surfing. No electronics needed as the sound of the brightly colored tropical birds and the graceful waves became the soundtrack to an amazing vacation. Admit it, you are grinning as you picture this.

I had no set expectations going in. I had hopes of meeting the friendliest of people and doing the funnest of things, but would be equally happy of becoming a beach bum for the next 8 days. The beaches themselves would be reason enough for all this excitement. I am a planner by nature but not this time. I had purchased my plane ticket 2 weeks before my trip and my hotel 2 days before take-off (I only booked my first 2 nights) I wanted to have no plans, no expectations and no disappointments. This trip called for full flexibility.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans...”- Lao Tzu

REI Flash 52 Women's Backpack

The Saturday before my trip, I made my way over to REI in Ridge Hill Mall. I wanted a backpack for this adventure, one in which I would be able to fit 8 happy and fulfilled days worth of my life. That in itself was a challenge. I had to narrow down the amount of things I would take. I took 5 outfits, 3 cover ups, 6 mix and match bikinis, 2 scarves, 2 pairs of sandals, 1 pair of sneakers, 2 pajama sets and some toiletries. They fit perfectly. I would wear the heaviest articles of clothing to prevent an overcrowded backpack. I felt accomplished as the scale read 28lbs. I had reduced my life to a mere 28lbs from the usual 50lbs airline standards.

The excitement over crowded my anxiety of being a planner. There I was, entering my stress free happy place (the airport) at 3:13 A.M.  showcasing a total of 8 top teeth in a big smile. I said my goodbyes to my dad who took me to JFK Airport with a long hug, as he had learned only 2 minutes ago that I would go on this adventure without a companion.  As I traveled camera and passport in hand, I couldn't believe I was headed to Hawaii alone yet extremely happy. 

I was going from Hi to Aloha in 12 hours =)

Alone.

The expression on her face. The thought process behind her uncomfortable smile as her eyes grew wider, Alone?

There was so much taboo around being a female solo traveler. As I recited to her that I would be taking a trip alone, I felt her tone change drastically. The longer the conversation, the easier it was to hear the mix of confusion, admiration, shock, horror and....well, pity. It is easy to judge when you are standing on the opposite end of the spectrum. The side where you are co-dependent on another human being for what should be, your natural happiness.

For a couple of months now, I had been standing at the edge. I'd been researching my heart out, as curiosity and knowledge overwhelmed me. I had been so reluctant to take the plunge but with good reason, as it was a scary leap of faith. One that would enrich me with insurmountable amount of fun experiences and new sights. When you want something this bad, you can either find an excuse or find a way. I had been bitten by the travel bug and in desperate need to travel. I asked myself, which was more pathetic; The constant disappointment of waiting for a travel companion and watching as my nomadic dream life dissolved? or continually wondering what else is out there?. It was the perfect timing. Contrary to those my age, I did not have a husband or kids. What I did have was, this crazy ambition and fascination with traveling. Why not now? The fear of regret trumped the fear of the unknown once again.

I didn't think myself as very different from this friend but our conversation left me to feel as though we weren't cut from the same cloth. Physically, we resided in the same borough yet mentally we were worlds apart. It was almost as if she didn't understand the concept that there was another way of living rather then conformity (she obviously hadn't read my last post). There was a whole community of people who thought like me, a community of solo travelers. The kind that hadn't limited themselves to the social norm. They too, were also marriage, husband and babies free!-The fact that I was trying it out, made me feel bold, daring and...well, pretty BADASS!!

As I thought about our conversation, a sense of relief, freedom and liberation overcame me and I pulled out my debit card. It takes determination and courage to step into where the magic happens and you do what you love. I was there again. I was at my favorite place, the online airline checkout. The confirmation email verified my happiness once again and the count down began.

Thirst For Life

Working a second over 40 hours a week can make a person crave a drink. And although that can alliviate the stress and give you a happy hour or two, nothing works better than a vacation. Where you choose to go can be determined by many factors. We all have taken simple vacations. Some like road trips to neighboring states, others like escaping to the Caribbean to feel the warm sun. But ask yourself this, when was the last time you took a vacation that changed your life? You know the kind that enriches your senses and feeds your soul. The kind that changed your view on who you are and how you viewed the world.

I'm thinking along the lines of "Eat, Pray, Love". I believe that you don't have to be going through a hardship in life to take such a trip. A simple thirst for life or lack thereof would do it. You know the feeling, sitting at your desk at work with a cup of coffee early morning, staring at a 14 inch computer monitor screen, squinting your eyes, a million thoughts scrambled in your head while you read through emails from your boss requesting you to go above and beyond your title. After this form of slavery, you go home and only have about 4 hours to engage in a social life, have dinner or drinks before its time to go to sleep. Somewhere during those hours, you have to call the gas company to dispute yet another estimated bill, the dishes are still in the sink, you have to plan your best friend's surprise birthday party, pick up your suit from the cleaners for tomorrow's big presentation, and your mom has left you 3 voicemail all stating that she feels neglected by you. If there were only 4 of you to do it all. Its the hardest reality, yet you do it every day. Day in and day out.

Why is it that we are constantly rushing, sprinting, racing through life. Have you ever stopped to think of this lifestyle in which you are merely existing like an empty shell in the sea. That's not really living.

You need more. What makes this type of vacation enriching? It has to be one that pushes you far beyond your comfort zone and brings you back to life. One that gives your life purpose. The kind that enables you the perfect balance of adventure and time to detoxify your mind, reflecting on life. And I know what you're doing right this second. You are thinking about whether you are living this empty life style I just described or whether you have ever had a life changing vacation. If like me, you crave such a vacation, a travel agent will not be able to coordinate this for you. As a matter of fact, studies show that the de-stressing part of a vacation is the anticipation and planning of the vacation. (This study might actually give me further insight in the euphoric feeling when I'm planning one for myself). You are going to have to do some research and planning of your own to find exactly what is right for you. Keep looking until you find something that really lights your fire.

While you're still young, get cultured. Don't  set yourself up for mid life regret. Do it now. You are younger now than you will ever be.

 

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” -Mark Twain

 

A Year Off Would Be Nice

Another Type of Surfing? Don't Mind If I Do! - Part 2

Jenkie. Or at least that's how I thought it was spelled. I heard it from her voice after every gesture. There were no communication barriers or misunderstandings. She was Polish and that was her way of saying thank you.

Her face lit up like a lighting bug in the dark when I agreed to host her for the night. She was 27, single and on "holiday" to one of her favorite cities is what she said. She was couchsurfin for the second time and it was my first time hosting and depending on this experience could be my last??

She told me, she was picking up her bags from the luggage storage lockers in Hell's Kitchen (yes, I said the same thing. They have those?)  She would take the train up to my house on a Friday afternoon. It would be our second time meeting, EVER. I was going against everything my mother had raised me to do. I was going to open the door to a stranger. As the door bell rang for a second  time,  I was standing there peeking from my balcony, talking myself into proceeding with this ridiculous idea. It was as if I felt a rush of curiosity, I had to know. I needed to know. I can't remember my exact thoughts as I was rushing down the stairs. I do, however, remember the very second before unlocking the door thinking "this is it kid, you can easily walk away from this. It's completely optional". Curiosity trumped cowardliness that day. I flung the door wide open, as I extended my hand to help her with her bags. I exposed every single one of my teeth, but it was a genuine smile.  Standing tall at 5'9, dark brown hair, at a fair 175lbs, with the kind of skin that hadn't met the sun in years was Magda.

First order of business was to get fed. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't deprive myself of the pleasure of hearty meals, the unhealthier the better. Out of courtesy, I asked if she had any place in mind she had read about or wanted to try. She looked at me confused, trying to find a piece of crumbled paper that was in her bag from a couple days ago. She wrote down the name of a place she passed by. "It's, ehh... Mexican food, we don't eat it a lot in Poland" she said. I tell her I know a couple places. In my head I'm thinking: Rosa Mexicana, Dos Caminos, La Esquina etc.. I tell her, "finish getting ready so we could go". She screams my name in a heavy accent to let me know she has found the paper. I had never heard such a horrible pronunciation of Chipotle. That was it? She wanted Chipotle? Lol, I was thinking fancy she was thinking simple casual style dinning. As we started to engage in conversation the second order of business was to help her say my name correctly. All else fails tell her to call me Mimi.

She tells me that she doesn't eat meat. I'm not sure how to take that. Was she vegetarian? Well, I put my persuasive skills to test. Told her she atleast had to try it and if she didn't like it, I would pay for her meal. Let's just say I paid but she loved it. I felt accomplished. If she left that very second, I knew I had made an impact in her life.

That night there was another travel event in the Lower East side. The bar screamed travel, as it was called "Destination Bar". We met up with Glenda and her friend Jackie. Glenda explained to Jackie who Magda was. I immediately saw the judgmental facial expressions, as Jackie battled with this crazy idea and the norm. I wasn't entertaining anyone's view on this. I put myself in this situation, it was something I wanted to do. We met some people and grabbed a couple half priced drinks. I wasn't trying to generalized but she drank like a fish (obviously this was coming from a girl who had two drinks, eyes glazed and was ready to dance). She taught me Polish words and told me she wanted me take her around a day in my life On our ride up to the house, I told her I had a great idea for tomorrow. Her eyes lit up, as I explained to her that there was a beach I wanted to take her to. My exact word were "girl, we are gonna get you some color". I think she was excited about it, if not she was pretty great actress. As the night came to an end, I handed her some sheets, a pillow and a towel. Jenkie!

Blueberry/Strawberry Pancakes

Yankee Stadium

I heard the shower running, she was an early bird. Since I was playin an amazing hostess in this crazy movie, I got up to make her Pancakes. She said they don't eat it much in Poland and they actually call it omelette. Based on last night's conversations, I had learned she loved fruits, snowboarding and pancakes. I like to think I was doing pretty well. Due to the humidity and the sun not showing up to our planned outings, we decided to skip the beach. I took her shopping since she said that Poland was pricier than the states and she loved buying new things. She didn't want to do regular touristy stuff. I took her for a nice home cooked meal at my loving yet judgmental mothers' house. Magda was so thankful and excited, but shy and reserved all at once. She told me it was the best meal she had since she had arrived in New York. I patted myself on the back for the second time, even though my mom had made it. I took her for a walk near the Yankee stadium, followed by a Jamaican restaurant near my house.  As we drove away from the restaurant, she frantically asks me to pull over. She wanted to take a pictures of kids playing in by the water hydrant. She commented on how easy life is as a kid. I drove over to the South Bronx hoping to expose her to the low income housing area. Magda had taken so many pictures, as to capture every single second. We bought some moscato and conversated about the pictures she had taken, the things she had done and compared it to her perception of the Bronx prior to staying at my house. 

A lot was to be learned about this experience. We weren't too different, me and her. She was from another side of the world, but yet she was just as curious and enthused about learning more and wanting more from life. She thanked me for showing her around but I was far more grateful for the experience. It was my turn as i waved goodbye, I uttered the word dziękuję (Jenkie) meaning thank you. She look up in shock, smiled and said "we learned alot this weekend".

By hosting Magda, I had opened my door to another country, lend my couch to another culture and my mind to a world outside my comfort zone. Would you do the same?

Another Type of Surfing? Don't Mind If I Do!

Don't be so naive. There is a world outside your comfort zone. I know society has molded you to believe that we should say certain things and behave a certain way. But really, how open minded are you? Would you invite a complete stranger to sleep in your house for a couple of days? Once a topic intrigues me, its like I become obsessive over it until I fully understand it or accomplish it.

I just recently set up a profile for CouchSurfing.org. Not everyone finds the concept of consorting with unknown people appealing. I know what you are thinking and I have heard many stories (good and bad), but give me chance to explain. I like to think of it as a blind date where people bring another country's knowledge as well as their toothbrush for a slumber party. I figured, since I haven't been able to travel as often as I like why not bring the country to me and at the same time pay it forward to someone in need of a place to crash. But before engaging, I needed more information.

Last Wednesday, I got a email from Jeremiah, a couchsurfer from Dallas. In his email he explained that he was passing through NYC (for 24hrs) on his way up to Boston. He was looking to have a drink at Blarney Stone, which was right down the street from where I work. A couple other couchsurfers answered, but I was the first to show up. Happy hour turned into my personal research paper. I understood the concept of wanderlust and travelling the world, but what type of person ventured out without a plan, without knowing where they would sleep that very night. It wasn't until we were 4 drinks in and 2 bars down, that it dawned on me. I sat in a group of 11 other like minded couchsurfers from around the world, all with accents ordering their mispronounced drinks in the heaviest accent. Believe it or not, there is a network of people, a community rather, who have an insatiable desire to travel and this method of lodging enabled them to see the world on a budget. I learned that there were so many advantages to couchsurfing. It's not about what amount you save but more the intangible moments, the immediate shift that happens as you turn from a tourist to a local traveler.

When you stay at a hotel, you only see the tourist areas (what they want you to see) but you don't experience the culture. Staying with a local lets you see a day in their world, fully embrace their way of living. It's the authenticity of having a friend in another country who is willing to show you around, a free guide opening their world to you, your opportunity to engage in their way of life. As we got to talking, my new found friend Steffano from Milan, described it to be "bringing a piece of the world into another person living room. The experience is priceless". As we toasted to new friends and a great life, I took in the scenery and let it all marinate. It was a stress free, worry free zone where no one was pressured by society, there was no specific plan, nothing holding them back. It was as though they were confidently going in the direction of the unknown and fully embracing uncertainty. That very moment that it all made sense to me(a little light bulb went off in my head). Why were we confining ourselves to society's standard? I told myself to be more open minded and eventually try couchsurfing for one night.

As I look to the left of me, I see Magda. She was tall, with mid-length dark hair, pale skin girl from Poland with a great personality. Magda looks down to her phone and her smile quickly fades as she proceeds to read her email. Concerned, I ask if everything is ok and she answers that YMCA has a hostel in Harlem but they had replied to her request letting her know they were booked. She turned homeless in a matter of seconds. She seemed nice, was this my chance to host a couch surfer? Open up my doors to a complete stranger, invite them to invade my personal space, to slumber on my couch. How open minded was I really? Perspective played a part, a huge part. This was my great opportunity, but is the risk far greater than the reward?

A Fashionable New Yorker in Europe

The excitement of planning a trip comes with a dreadful anxiety of not being prepared. What should I pack?

One of my Fashionista friends is preparing for a fabulous 10 day trip to southern Europe this fall.
 Sophistication is in the Italian blood, and most Italians would unhesitatingly trade in comfort in order to achieve it. It is a nation that cherishes outward appearances. Its picturesque scenery and seascapes call for reciprocity on your looks. It is no wonder some of the world best designers are from this region (ie. Prada, Armani, Ferragamo, Roberto Cavalli, etc..).


When traveling to a fashion forward country, you always want to look your best.The wardrobe combinations are endless. This tends to cause internal conflict wishing you could pack your entire wardrobe to fit into a 50lbs luggage. This is a fashionista's biggest dilemma.

A good rule of thumb is always checking the weather of your destination before packing. It helps you narrow down the type of clothing you will need. In this case, the weather for Italy in September is still very comfortable. In the high 70s/low 80s.The next thing to consider is the excursions. What activities do you have planned? For example, when visiting churches/museums you will need  appropriate attire. It is wise to wear long pants/skirts and covered shoulders. Lastly, the length of the trip.

After much research and debates, it is safe to say that the climate and destination demand the following:

• 2 pairs of jeans
• 1 neutral pair of Capri pants
• 1 pair of comfortable sneakers
• 2 cardigans ( neutral color and a bright color)
• 1 light jacket
• 3 pairs of shoes (ballerina flats, sandals, heels)
• 2 ziploc bags of jewelry (earrings, bracelets and necklaces)
• 3 mix and match bikinis
• 1 pair of sunglasses
• 4 semi-casual tops
• 2 sun dresses
• 2 pashminas/scarves
• 3 warm PJs (it gets cold at night)
• 1 camera
• Bug spray/Sun tan lotion
• Make up bag
• Crossbody bag
• Evening bag
• Electronics and chargers

Before you go, you should coordinate your outfits with jewelry and snap a quick picture. This will save you time and frustration, whilst remaining super fashionable. Remember, the less you pack the more room you will have for souvenirs and items purchased abroad.

P.S. undergarments and toiletries are a given. :)

Addio per ora la mia bella fashionista, Buon divertimento!