Alone.

The expression on her face. The thought process behind her uncomfortable smile as her eyes grew wider, Alone?

There was so much taboo around being a female solo traveler. As I recited to her that I would be taking a trip alone, I felt her tone change drastically. The longer the conversation, the easier it was to hear the mix of confusion, admiration, shock, horror and....well, pity. It is easy to judge when you are standing on the opposite end of the spectrum. The side where you are co-dependent on another human being for what should be, your natural happiness.

For a couple of months now, I had been standing at the edge. I'd been researching my heart out, as curiosity and knowledge overwhelmed me. I had been so reluctant to take the plunge but with good reason, as it was a scary leap of faith. One that would enrich me with insurmountable amount of fun experiences and new sights. When you want something this bad, you can either find an excuse or find a way. I had been bitten by the travel bug and in desperate need to travel. I asked myself, which was more pathetic; The constant disappointment of waiting for a travel companion and watching as my nomadic dream life dissolved? or continually wondering what else is out there?. It was the perfect timing. Contrary to those my age, I did not have a husband or kids. What I did have was, this crazy ambition and fascination with traveling. Why not now? The fear of regret trumped the fear of the unknown once again.

I didn't think myself as very different from this friend but our conversation left me to feel as though we weren't cut from the same cloth. Physically, we resided in the same borough yet mentally we were worlds apart. It was almost as if she didn't understand the concept that there was another way of living rather then conformity (she obviously hadn't read my last post). There was a whole community of people who thought like me, a community of solo travelers. The kind that hadn't limited themselves to the social norm. They too, were also marriage, husband and babies free!-The fact that I was trying it out, made me feel bold, daring and...well, pretty BADASS!!

As I thought about our conversation, a sense of relief, freedom and liberation overcame me and I pulled out my debit card. It takes determination and courage to step into where the magic happens and you do what you love. I was there again. I was at my favorite place, the online airline checkout. The confirmation email verified my happiness once again and the count down began.